Salut!

• To my loved ones and colleagues who helped assuage the searing grief to manageable levels, I remain forever and deeply grateful. I've written of this before but it's worth repeating: there's so much good in the world and I was surrounded by it and that made all the difference. The shock wore off months ago and the "new normal" everyone kept referring to continues to take shape. I incorporate his memory daily and will miss him 'til I'm dead, but in incremental ways, I'm getting the hang of the second half of my life.
  

• To everyone wise enough not to inject their religious or philosophical beliefs into another's grief. The most salient card I received read, "It's always too soon." Really, that's all anyone needs to say.
  

• I feel he helped look after me in the early months after his death. I realize some lose a partner or close loved one and experience their total absence. I'm not disputing their accounts; merely relaying mine. And I know I might be wrong.
  

• I worked with a particularly fine crop of editors and producers this year and will be working with each of them throughout 2011 and that's high-five and heel-click prompting.
  

• To the five conventionally married couples who like as well as love each other: nice job. Share tips with your friends; save the rest of us the headache of listening to another conversation delineating the ways in which marriage is not a porridge of rainbows and gold-leaf crumbles.

• I loved my rabbits boundlessly and when the last one died in May, my home started to resemble a catacomb. So it's been pretty fucking great that my puppy, Thomas, is every bit as sweet, smart, life-affirming and reflexively goofy as I'd hoped he'd be. Thomas Puppy!

• To each citizen and administration official who worked tirelessly to pass health care reform and to repeal DADT. So much left to accomplish, but this is a damned fine start. And I'm still glad I raised money and voted for President Obama.

• There is some good news in the offing I've shared with almost no one because I'd rather unveil it when the ink is dry. Still, it's pleasant having things to look forward to again.
  

• I am profoundly lucky my family, friends and colleagues are, in fact, my family, friends and colleagues. Much love now and forever.
  

[I know I wrote a few days ago that I wouldn't mention him in my year-end wrap-up because a set of grief-mongers apparently has little to do but search for his name here. Well, fuck 'em.]

Why the Jimmy Carter comparision makes no sense whatsoever:

As during the Carter years, there's a recession akin to a bloodbath; joblessness persists; house values keep plummeting and the nation's mood remains cranky as hell.

But to borrow Joe Biden's oft-quoted phrase, here's the huge fucking deal: Carter's one term held few historically notable successes. Obama's first two years contain a pair of gigantic victories: health care reform and the repeal of DADT. Also, the combat phase of the Iraq war is essentially over (not that we can breathe easy yet, but we're moving in the right direction).

No, Gitmo isn't closed and Obama hasn't devised a way to divide loaves and fishes or walk on water, but it'd be useful if my fellow compadres on the left took a sec, breathed deep and momentarily enjoyed what the administration has accomplished so far. The "to do" list still scrolls to the floor, but focusing on success builds momentum, which in turn leads to more success.

And for god's sake, media outlets, you must chill: no one is challenging him from the left in '12. With so many actual stories to cover, it's assinine to speculate where none exists.

Guy walking by absorbed by your Kindle...

...unless it contains Pakistan's nuclear codes and you've heard rumors President Asif Ali Zardari has an itchy trigger finger, you appear less intellectual, not more.

The smartest and most insightful response is usually to engage in the world surrounding you.

All thoughts and prayers for my friend and her family, please:

I'll heading out the door soon for Part #2 of the Christmas cacophony but my thoughts are with my good friend, whose sister died yesterday after a long bout with brain cancer. She died at home surrounded by her loved ones and for the past two weeks, each of them knew this would arrive any moment.

While her sister's suffering is over, there is a tragedy and, from where I sit, a meaningless to such deaths. Randomness is as brutal a force as the tsunami that killed hundreds of thousands of individuals on this day six years ago.

I'll be seeing my friend soon and we've been there for each other through previous bouts of unfettered awfulness, but everything about this passing is spectacularly unfair and I know whatever comfort I can provide is di minimis and the whole point of this holiday seems perverse and darkly ridiculous right now.

I'm massively fortunate to have...

...so many deeply thoughtful, extraordinarily intelligent, boundlessly talented and ridiculously super-cute friends and family members.

That said, my dear friend and colleague, Jade, just gave me an autographed first-edition Joan Didion, so unless someone wants to gift-wrap Bono and/or Jon Hamm, I think this is the gift-getting pinnacle.

I'm going to skip year-end reflections...

...because much of them would incorporate you-know-who and I long ago opted to withhold from the grief-mongers whatever it is they think they'll find here. (Seriously, when certain individuals do searches on his name here several times a week, it's not a question of loose screws so much as the degree of looseness.)

Instead, I'll offer a holiday piece I filmed for the Seattle Channel three years ago. (He and I watched it together on my living room couch when it first aired. There--I'll throw you a grief scrap.)

Re the piece itself, about the Christmas torment my brother unleashed on my high school boyfriend, what good are the holidays if you can't needle your younger sibling and remind him that even on the cusp of fatherhood, he remains your baby bro? Ah, payback, a quarter century later. I start at a minute and 17 seconds:

Seattle Channel Video can be played in Flash Player 9 and up

My new interview with John Vanderslice for Paste Magazine is here:

The lauded singer-songwriter and all-around swell guy on philanthropy, Three Imaginary Girls, Teen Feed and playing Santa:

http://www.pastemagazine.com/blogs/giving_back/2010/12/john-vanderslice-dresses-as-santa-for-three-imaginary-girls-fundraiser.html

I've had a spate of interviews lately I've really enjoyed and this ranks high among them. My editor made an error, though, and one of JV's answers makes a lot less sense without the question preceding it. So here's the full exchange:

PASTE: The Three Imaginary Girls told me how thrilled they were you stepped up with little notice to play Santa at their holiday concert benefiting Teen Feed, the non-profit that provides meals for homeless youth, and that you'll perform at the event, as well. The night before Three Imaginary Girls' soiree, you're joining your frequent compadres, the Mountain Goats, to play a live show accompanying a silent film in the Castro. So you're playing an intricately involved affair in your home city, San Francisco, then immediately hopping a plane to Seattle to help hungry teens. Few artists of your stature would put themselves through the rigors of performing the shows sequentially. What compelled you to say, "Yes"?

JOHN VANDERSLICE: Well, when Three Imaginary Girls calls, you best answer, “Yes.” I'm there for Three Imaginary Girls and Teen Feed! I'll fly in that night and don my suit in the mini-van (Town car? Limo? Ha!) on the way to the show. Teen Feed is a tremendous charity doing necessary work so helping them has to be a good thing. John Darnielle [of the Mountain Goats] asked me a few days after I had accepted the invitation to come to Seattle. I would have done both shows either way. I feel lucky to have such good people who want to do things with me!

The Vanderslicer! Three Imaginary Girls! Teen Feed!

My new Seattle Weekly piece on Three Imaginary Girls' holiday benefit for Teen Feed, featuring the endlessly swell John Vanderslice, is online and on stands now:

http://www.seattleweekly.com/events/three-imaginary-girls-holiday-party-1168315/

If you need a respite from holiday-induced madness, loved ones and/or deadlines:

The deeply talented and industrious Diane Mapes has a new feature on MSNBC.com in which I'm among those interviewed. Bemused that a number of my friends recalled the person in question right away:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40281993/ns/health-pain_center/

And Thomas was featured on Capitol Hill Blog a few months ago, but I had a bunch of deadlines and neglected to post it:

http://capitolhillseattle.com/2010/09/28/hillcats-2010

Hooray, puppydog!

The countdown to January 2nd resumes.

It was his birthday on Wednesday...

...but I'm not writing about it here.

You can stop doing word searches on his name.

Well, yeah, that makes sense:

The American Red Cross is now forbidding people with CFIDS from donating blood:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/12/03/AR2010120305888.html

England and Canada implemented the same measure earlier this year. I've never donated blood in the 19 years I've had CFIDS, even in the early years when my doctors said I could (they've informally advised against it for awhile now), because I figured whatever was making me this ill didn't belong in the blood supply.

Glad the Red Cross is taking this step and I hope the Centers for Disease Control and NIH follow suit.

It's almost too easy to deem birther Texas State Representative Leo Berman (R) a racist, clinically paranoid...

...and skull-dented withered old man, but it's accurate on all counts, so what are you going to do?

Anderson Cooper dismantles Berman's inaccuracies in an exemplary televised interview that should inspire more journalists how to remain calm while shredding totally fabricated crap:

http://www.nerve.com/news/politics/watch-anderson-cooper-mops-the-floor-with-republican-birther

I'm pretty damned fortunate nearly everyone in my life...

...understands at least the basics of CFIDS, including its severity and unpredictability.

Which is hugely appreciated, as I was too ill to attend Thanksgiving (marking the first time I've been so incapacitated I skipped a major holiday) or my friends' dinner party Saturday night. Except to walk the puppy, I've been unable to leave the house for days. Still on track with my upcoming deadlines, but I'm in so much pain it hurts to lift my head.

If you know me, you know this isn't a bid for sympathy. Far from it. I remain open about CFIDS because there are so many misconceptions surrounding it; the only way this changes is if those of us with the illness are honest about how we live. And it's as pointless to dwell on it as it is to hide it.

Really touched that my dad brought by holiday leftovers and that several friends volunteered to do the same. I'd gone grocery shopping before the worst of it hit, so I'm well-stocked, but still: I'm super-lucky in a lot of ways and this is one of them.

Laura Hillenbrand, lauded author of Seabiscuit and "A Sudden Illness", her essay detailing her life with CFIDS, has a new novel, Unbroken, receiving wide acclaim. (You can read a fine excerpt in this month's print version of Vanity Fair.) In yesterday's Washington Post, Hillenbrand discusses the intersection of CFIDS and writing:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/11/28/AR2010112803533.html

And in the new Newsweek, the XMRV retrovirus and its possible causative or correlative role with CFIDS is examined:

http://www.newsweek.com/2010/11/28/could-a-virus-cause-chronic-fatigue-syndrome.html

I'm reminded of Chris Rock's line, that the last time science cured anything, "I Love Lucy" was still on the air, but like most of us, I'd be mighty thrilled with an even somewhat reliable treatment.

Good thing I can do my job lying down.

It speaks to how bad Seattle's snow situation is right now...

...that a man killed a stranger with an axe Monday morning a half-mile from my home in full view of school children and it has barely made the news.

In a strange and awful coincidence, the murderer lived on my street and was treating at the mental health facility on Olive; both were true of the 2007 knife-wielding New Year's Eve murderer.

Like everyone, I feel for the victims' families and wish no one had to suffer such horror.

And not to point fingers, but the mental health facility on Olive might want to step up its standard of care.

Particularly the drunk guys riding their bikes in the snow:

Don't get pieces like this because so much of the dogs vs. cats debate comes down to the genetics and environment of the individual animal:

http://jezebel.com/5697229/science-says-dogs-are-smarter-than-cats

That said, Thomas, of course, is smarter than most two-legged creatures roaming the planet.

Sleep well!

Several inches of snow have fallen since this afternoon, which is fine for those of us who work from home. Thanksgiving is probably canceled for a large chunk of the city, though, as most of it is a series of hills. Local news is reporting two buses just spun out on I-5 and are blocking three lanes then they showed my neighborhood, which is too snowed over for cars at all. Not that this has stopped a cabal of drunken sledders from commandeering the nearby hills as they did two years ago. I'm bemused, but the puppy is calling total bullshit on these antics and for now, at least, I've kept him distracted.

Much more importantly, a friend of mine just posted Wall Street Journal reports that North Korea and South Korea have exchanged fire and it's utterly horrifying:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703904804575631763523837910.html?mod=wsj_share_twitter

So this is all really useful because slumber tonight was looking too peaceful.

And vegans will like pizza, too:

There will be peace in the Middle East before non-writers understand how we write and why.

(With a few notable exceptions, of course.)

Belated good news re The Nervous Breakdown:

Fellow TNB colleague and pal Aaron Dietz reads from his new and well-received novel, Super, tonight at The Hideout. Details:

http://www.aarondietz.us/?page_id=423

Hope to see you there!

Also, this appeared in my Google alerts yesterday a month and a half after the fact, but in addition to rave previews from The Stranger and from KOMO4.com, it turns out The Nervous Breakdown Literary Experience Seattle Edition also received a swell write-up from City Arts Magazine:

http://www.cityartsmagazine.com/blog/2010/09/catch-nervous-breakdown-literary-series

Retroactive high fives to all.

Two reasons John Edwards remains useful:

1) Aaron Sorkin is writing a screenplay based on the Edwards biography, The Politician. The odds it will be less than brilliant and wildly entertaining are roughly the same John Boehner will forgo bronzer.

2) New York Magazine is reporting via the National Enquirer (yeah, I know, but the Enquirer has been dead accurate throughout Edwards' protracted imbroglios) that Rielle Hunter is now fucking around on him:

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2010/11/enquirer_claims_rielle_hunter.html

Still bummed those two opted to procreate. Nearly seven billion humans roaming the earth; we were fine without their contributing to the gene pool. (Not that it's their kid's fault, of course. I'm sure she's lovely.)

In seven short hours! Woo hoo!

I'm telling a story tonight as part of Annex Theatre Company's "60 Seconds Max", 11:00 p.m., 1100 E. Pike St., $10 at the door. Forty-six performers and readers and a panoply of great and good things. Also, ample booze on the premises.

Netflix can wait 'til tomorrow night!

[Saturday morning postscript: crackling and compelling show! Really enjoyed being part of it. More on Annex Theatre, one of Seattle's best and longest running:

http://www.annextheatre.org/]