How do you do that haiku that you do:

My writing group has been experimenting with haikus. Some of mine:

Asshole at Starbuck's
I do not want to discuss
my iBook with you

The fastest way to
prompt a guy's call is to say
I'm over you now

I will not fuck you
if you wear Dockers unless
I am very bored

Straight man please listen
Forego your braided belt and
go to Kenneth Cole

Christy Turlington
has Ed Burn's love but can't have
Nutella on toast

Natalie Merchant
Please crack a smile and don't sing
about Osama

By 2005
Jennifer Aniston will
have purchased us all

My downstairs neighbor
thinks he's an artist but he's
just boozy and loud

Passive agressive
people suck lots of ass and
hopefully die young

Dear Bono please know
I am a double D and
must lie down a lot

My last date despised
Elvis Costello so I
won't return his calls