First, I click on my Nerve account and discover the worst tag line ever and possibly the most horrifying metaphor in recorded human history:
"Shovel...seeks butter clam for harvest."
Then I look up and discover (my husband) Jon Stewart interviewing (talented lunatic) Burt Reynolds. But Reynolds' visage now resembles that of a burn survivor: taut skin and features askew. And it's heartbreaking, really, because he *chose* to mangle his face.
Some nights I think the only things standing between me and a felony are four bunnies, Green and Black's Chocolate Mint Bar, and a delightful array of shoes.
P.S. My writing group kicks ass.
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