I agree with everything except the last one

This ran without a byline or I'd give the (prescient) author credit. Esquire's "A Guide to Picking New Music":

Good Signs

-- The album-cover art is suitable for framing.
-- The first ten seconds of song 10 are about as good as the first ten seconds of song 1.
-- The band has played Conan O'Brien.
-- The music is put out by any of the following labels: Bloodshot, Barsuk, Anti-, ATO, Lost Highway, New West, Nonesuch, Merge, or Sub Pop.
-- Not even the female band members are wearing makeup.

Bad Signs
-- On the album cover, the band looks like they're having a great time.
-- The band's name includes any number under 100.
-- Any of the band's songs features a long introduction marked by dissonance or silence.
-- The music is by a male singer-songwriter who uses his first, middle, and last names (with the exception of David Allen Coe, who is a fine musician).
-- Laser sounds.
-- Any letters in the band name, album title, or song titles are written backward or replaced by a number.
-- You're attracted to the woman who's singing (90 percent accurate).

Link:

http://www.esquire.com/features/eskyawards2007/newmusic0407