Or his cigar:

For the past few months, I've been on the fence between Obama and Clinton. While I will gladly vote for either of them in the general election, this morning I made up my mind.

I support Barack Obama because I believe he has the intelligence, compassion, and wherewithal to lead the U.S. in establishing universal (or near-universal) health care, to implement environmentally sound and financially smart energy policies, and to alleviate some of the cynicism and disgust that's become endemic to American politics over the past few decades. I think he understands the complexity and danger of national security issues and that he would be a highly effective communicator when interacting with other heads of state. I like that he reaches out to independents and Republicans because there are individuals with active minds and kind hearts across the spectrum and at this juncture in history, when our survival as a species and our stature as a nation are not necessarily assured, I think it's essential to underscore our commonality or we're really, truly fucked. Obama is the rare politician I'd like to vote for and have lunch with, and assuredly, he would appreciate Mom's baklava.

Please, dear god, never let him stick his member where it does not belong.