Tuesday, March 04, 2008

A Quantitative Overview of the Only Individuals or Entities More Annoying than the Democratic Voting Populace of Ohio:

  • My Legal Writing professor who had the I.Q. of a sand fly and the writing skills of its larvae
  • The half-life of plutonium
  • Wes Unseld of the Washington Bullets and his cry baby antics during the 1978 NBA Championship against the Seattle Supersonics
  • Large chunks of black peppercorns in otherwise delicious Italian salami
  • The gum stuck to the bottom of my white Pumas
  • Women who allow David Lee Roth to penetrate them
  • The phalanges and sexual organ of David Lee Roth
  • Hitler's mom's gynecologist
  • The CNN producer who, apparently, elects not to cock-punch Lou Dobbs before and after each segment
  • Any dining partner, who, upon discovering that I don't like olives, responds with, "You don't like olives? But you're Greek! Ha! Ha!"
  • Those who act as if their preference for tea instead of coffee connotes moral superiority
  • The clog in my garbage disposal
  • White people who post their umbrage on stuffwhitepeoplelike.com
  • That bacon originates and results in death
  • Ragweed
  • The Democratic voting populace of Texas


Kate said...

I love you. Thank you for the only laughing that my sinuses and I have done all week. Achoo. xoxoxo, squiddy

Litsa Dremousis said...

And I heart you, Miss Izquierdo. Gesundheit! Feel better soon, Litsa