Wednesday, August 30, 2006

I don't know, maybe whomever provided the semen:

I write from home and I keep CNN on in the background while I do admin work (email, etc.). Today I have been bombarded by that One-a-Day for Women ad that shows a woman frolicking on the beach with two small children while the voiceover asks, "Without strong shoulders, who will support them?"

I love kids, but I'm not going to have children and I never intended to. To borrow David Mamet's line from "State and Main", "I just don't see the point." And like many sentient beings, I'd be delighted if certain coffeehouses and red-eye flights were designated tyke-free zones. (Whenever I'm on deadline and trying to obtain a completely necessary soy mocha, I'm stuck behind a child--female or male--named "Ashley" who is devolving because Mom insists s/he can get the blueberry muffin, not the chocolate chip cookie. I sympathize--muffins are ridiculous--but parents should teach their Ashleys that it's unwise to present impediments to writers seeking caffeine.)

This One-a-Day ad grates for several reasons. First off, as previously mentioned, not all women want to procreate. Secondly, those who do have ample incentive to take care of themselves for reasons that have nothing to do with their offspring. (We can agree that it behooves everyone--regardless of gender or parental status--to maintain their health. Right?) Lastly, why do certain marketing directors still assume that parenting is soley a woman's responsibility? Obviously, there are plenty of single mothers--and I have enormous respect for them--but I bet they would appreciate a little goddamned help.

Fuck you, One-a-Day. You make me want to grow a penis.

No comments: