Pretty sure legendary WaPo editor, Ben Bradlee, just hurled his tumbler of scotch across the room:

I devour the best of contemporary lit and biography and historical tomes and classics with the same appetite with which I pounce on sundried tomato ravioli, but I'm not above the occasional copy of Star or US Weekly. (Indeed, as I confessed here long ago, I even had a subscription to the latter way back.)

But I just received a Washington Post "Breaking News Alert" stating, "Tiger Woods says he regrets transgressions" and like all sentient creatures, I can't help but think, Aren't we on the brink of enacting health care reform? And fighting two wars? And is our Bush-inherited economy still as reliable as a meth-head with a key to your house or did I miss a meeting?

Again, I know I'm not alone on this: I don't read the Washington Post or the New York Times, both of which I check several times a day, for gossip. Archaeologists typically consider division of labor as the launching point for human civilization: news organizations of all mediums, leave who's-fucking-who to the print and online tabs and, please, for the love of our current civilization, stick to your purpose and cover actual goddamned news.

[Postscript two hours later: WaPo just sent out another "Breaking News Alert" stating, "NIH authorizes use of first human embryonic stem cells under new policy." Which is substantive, actual news. Hooray! Also: maybe we control the world with our minds now.]