Here's a fun one that in my shock and horror six months ago, I didn't anticipate:

There are ostensible friends who will bench themselves during the early stages of your grief and then return half a year later, either because they have a hangnail or some stupid shit like that or because they think that icky death stuff is over now and want to hang out again.

Sorry, children. That's not how this works.

No drama. No discussion.

We're done.